Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I seriously want to catch the guy who pees all over the toilet seat in the men's bathroom. Is this a complete coffee problem--where the coffee creates the fuel and also the caffeinated unstable shaking that distributes it evenly exactly where I have to sit? This is where I do my quality reading, for God's sake! Do I come to your house and whiz on your couch? I mean, we have a urinal in there, so there's no need to go bombing from 3000 feet as if there's a fire in a California forest. With a urinal present there is an alternate toilet readily avaialable for that specialized #1 visit. Once I catch this guy, drowing him would be the only feasible response. I imagine a gangster-movie like face shove in the john--maybe like the Dude in the Big Lebowski.