Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Alpha of wrote in as a reply to one of my previous posts about metally incapacitated automobile parkers:

Here's my experience about compact sized parking stalls and the
spineless that I ran into that day:

The other day I went to catch a movie on a Friday night. Ok, so that
was a bad idea to begin with; I usually like to go to the last show on
Mondays because it has been proven that my level of happiness is
inversely proportional to the amount of people in a certain area.
However, that Friday evening, I was looking for a place to park my
compact sized sedan on the "COMPACT" marked row only to find a single
empty stall with an SUV to my left and a Crown Victoria to my right.
Needless to say, I had to pull out and look for another stall because
once I had pulled in, I could not open either side door enough to step
out of my vehicle.

It was very difficult for me to comprehend how a seemingly thinking
person could somehow find it right in their pea-sized little brain to
park a boat sized vehicle on a compact sized stall. Then I realized
that these were not thinking beings I was dealing with. They were
robots; human-like, stupid, robots with cookie dough inside their
otherwise empty metal skulls.

Lobotomized baboons that park their fat ass SUVs and family sized
sedans (and I'm talking the-whole-freaking-family size sedans) into
clearly labeled "COMPACT" stalls, must be consequently given an OJ
Simpson style butchering.