Friday, June 24, 2005

Here's a [tongue in cheek] corollary to Greg from yesterday by "Driver Dan":

Traffic congestion is real gnarly knot of narcissism at times. For instance, just the other day I'm rolling along in my hi-pro glow European sports car when some gas guzzling gremlin with personalized license plates labeled, "Gary", swerves in and around my steed of speed. This boozing bastard of driving dementia nearly came within six inches of my vehicle. I knew that I must protect myself, and all other drivers from the clobbering clod of this half-wit hyena from hell. The best beatdown is one served cold, unemotionally and with a smile. It happened that that he was kind of trapped by a slower vehicle. I eased the cruise to around 60.6 miles per hour to "slowly" pass the vehicle, leaving him to ponder his reckless ways. I should point out that my digital gauges are spec'd within the thousandth. Yeah. If you're gonna take the time to get pissed, at least try and piss on someplace you don't walk everyday.
So what does this drooling dolt of driving do? After being sentenced in this small gulag of guilt what does he do? He swerves around the vehicle and then attempts to pass me. Dude. Get real. The second that your gremlin can either pass my car or you can actually pick up a chick that doesn't peck at the ground all day, is the day that I will welcome you, cro-magnon man, to the human race.
All in all, it was a fun day.

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