Monday, December 05, 2005

Submitted by our good pal LW:
A Special Weather-Augmented Beatdown..and Put Some Steak On It

I am driving on I94 after the major winter storm event. Sure, it isn't the smartest thing to be driving in these conditions in the first place, but, I am forced to do so by dictates of family law (Vo's note: it's called child support for kids that LW would rather have living with him). I find myself behind someone who is driving so far below the conditions that I make the effort to ease into the other lane and gently up my speed to pass. But, lo and behold, this spawn of a crack ho speeds up when I get parallel and matches my speed. I am unable to pass, safely, and am forced to either jettison my concerns for safety and thrust past at all costs, or, slow down and allow this disaster of DNA to remain ahead of me. I opted for the former, naturally; be true to one's self, that's what I always say. But I digress... With this move, I have earned the inalienable right to indulgently gaze into the questioning look on this person's face as I stand there holding his still-beating heart in the palm of my hand.