I occasionally participate in online surveys if there is some sort of compensation involved (free schwag, money, etc.). A few weeks back I was in the longest one of my professional career, where it kept asking me the same questions in different ways (it felt like one of those personality profile tests). Thirty minutes into the survey, I get the following;

In the past 30 days, have you accessed the internet?
O - Yes
O - No

Umm, what comatose moron wrote this question? In the past thirty minutes, I accessed the internet, you misguided schlemiel, on your online survey. I'd like to find the cretin birdbrain who writes these questions, beat him savagely for about 20 minutes, and ask him if in the past 2 days anyone had kicked his ass.