As inspired by a conversation with Mr. Wizard

Dear Northworst Airlines:

Thank you so much for calling me less than 3 hours prior to my departure to inform me that the flight from my local airport is cancelled today, and that you can accomodate me at an airport approximately 2 hours away from where I'm at. I appreciate having .5 minutes to complete packing and rush out to the other city. I also appreciate after discussing with you how long my drive would be that you ask if I want to return to that same city on my return flight. It's unfortunate that you don't operate a side business delivering automobiles to help your customers, for that would have been nice if I returned home rather than to where my car is parked, 2 hours away. Thanks also for subjecting me to a 2 hour drive to the other city in the rain, complete with people who apparently think if it's raining hard to simply stop on the interstate and await mother nature to complete her outburst. All of this makes me much more likely to purchase an airline ticket from you in the future, and blog about it on a web site that holds you in low esteem.

Sincerely yours,

Wishing My Hands Were On Your Throat