Another great submission by Licorice Whip:

I drove up to a business in the late evening hours. It *looked* open, but may have been closed. So, to be a responsible customer, I find the sign. But, I have to get out of the car and look at. The dang thing was about the size of a recipe card, printed in shades of very low contrast, and so the printing was barely visible even when I was standing right there. The operators of this establishment deserve nails tapped into their shins.

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