More from the mind of Licorice Whip:

I am at the office. It is my place of employment. The path my life has followed to bring me here is quite amazing. I appreciate the good deal that my employer provides through various benefits. I am motivated to engage in a symbiotic relationship whereby my employment is beneficial to my employer and to myself. With this, I find I have some responsibility. In order to be an asset to the company, I must also NOT be a liability. Unfortunately, others that work here take their employment for granted. There are those who think that, just because they work here, they are entitled to be worthless, wasteful slobs. Case in point. I am washing my hands before exiting the restroom. There is another individual engaged in hand washing next to me. I finish, grab a paper towel out of the dispenser, diligently dry my hands, and dispose of the used towel. The other individual proves his worthlessness by fervently yanking out 8 sheets of towel into a fat, blooming wad of paper, dabbing his hands, lightly, and tossing them loosely wadded into the trash. I am disgusted by this. This pinhead probably shops around for the best price on paper towels for home, yet, has no problem wasting company resources. To put this into perspective, I have big hands, I mean, just ask my date from last night. If I can do it in one towel, so can this guy. I hate blatant, mindless wasting. This guy gets a two-ply, mega roll, extra-absorbent beatdown.