Thursday, March 16, 2006

Courtesy of Becca--this is how one person manages to lower the average IQ of the human population by 10 points:

I went to pick my daughter up from elementary school the other day...I parked my car across the street at the local dry cleaner's and made my way through the maze that *is* the afternoon pick-up parking lot. I swerved in and out of the bumper to bumper SUV's, minivans, station wagons and, of course, dual cab 18 ton pickup trucks (it's *still* Texas, folks) and headed for the building. (I choose to go *in* and get my six year old, rather than having her dodge moving vehicles a la the classic atari game, "Frogger"). Dumbass Minivan Mom (or, DMM, as I will now refer to her) pulls up and begins her "usual" routine. This consists of stopping her van before entering the parking lot, getting out, opening the sliding door, and then getting back into said minivan and continuing through the parking lot. I can only assume she does this because she is as big as a minivan and is too lazy to get out and open the door when she sees her children approaching. Now, normally, although I don't condone driving with your door open, I would take little notice of DMM. However one day I glanced past the sliding door and noticed a a car seat...sitting in the seat nearest the sliding door...that was open. Beatdown. Right there. But the story continues. Last week, DMM was driving through the afternoon parking lot, with the door open, and as I was walking past, the aforementioned toddler fell OUT OF THE CAR!!! It seems that while DMM had the foresight to put her child in a car seat, she failed to realize the importance of securing that seat *IN THE CAR*. So there was the li'l one, car seat and all, flailing around like a turtle on his back. The DMM slammed on her brakes, jumped (and I use that term loosely) out of the minivan, and made her way to the other side of the van. She scooped up the child, tossed him back into the van, all the while scolding him, "I told you to sit still, I don't know *why* you were wiggling around." Um? Because he's a toddler? Because that's what they do? In my humble opinion, this woman should be strapped to a backboard and placed in oncoming traffic, or at the very least, given a beatdown with a carseat.